To Say the Least
by heyitssam
Summary: What if three months away succeeded in pushing Castle away as well? Would Kate have stepped up to fight for their relationship earlier?
1. Chapter 1

**TO SAY THE LEAST**

**CHAPTER 01:**

It would have been a great understatement to say that it has been a tough three months for Kate Beckett.

Montgomery was gone, taken from her by the same demons that haunt her past as well as her present.

Then she gets shot at his funeral.

She likes to think that everything that happened is reason enough for her to hole herself up in her father's cabin. She was, after all, in recovery. And she's one to recover alone. Showing weakness, even ones entitled to any human being after getting shot, is not one of her strong suits. Yet she also knows for a fact that her time is almost up. She has a family to go back to, a job, an unsolved case and an unsettled score.

Just thinking about it puts an uncomfortable feeling at the pit of her stomach.

It's not that she does not want to go back. But the solace of the cabin and all the time that she had to herself while in recovery makes her feel jittery about facing everything again. _Everyone._

_I love you, Kate._

Castle.

She wonders how he is doing, how everyone is, really. She hasn't called anyone in her absence. She has barely had the time or the presence of mind to think past the events that has just upturned her life, least of all the implications of his words. She's not ready for that reality, but the least she could do was to show up again. To stand up and dust herself off after this fall like all those before it.

She's still Kate Beckett after all, and she never goes down without a fight.

* * *

Like the past ninety or so days, Richard Castle gets out of bed early and starts to function in what seems to be a robotic manner.

Autopilot.

In earlier days, he might opt to stay in bed until noon or until he cannot quite ignore the shrill ringing of his phone caused by either his publisher or his partner. But these days, sleeping does not quite appeal so much to Rick. It may be caused by the recent upheaval of his personal and professional relationship with his muse, or the occasional terrors that have started plaguing his sleep since that shot rang out in the cemetery.

So now he gets up as soon as he deems it decent enough for a normal person to be awake. He's also added a significant amount of coffee to his diet. Even more so than before.

To look on the bright side, at least he actually has something to distract him today, if you could call it that. He doesn't look forward to his signings the same way he did before. Of course, there is still a certain joy to meet the people who actually love his books enough to fall in line and have it signed by him personally. But the thrill that he gets from meeting all those… women, does not retain that same kick. That was the time before everything happened. But he does not think that it would do him well to dwell on that right now.

* * *

Rick arrived at the venue on the dot. He was currently being briefed by Paula regarding some minor details. Considering this was probably the hundredth of these things that he has attended, he was really well-versed on how it works, but still he nods along as she prattles on to avoid physical injury.

The preliminaries pass on in a blur, the next thing he knows he's signing one book after another, making small talk and smiling.

Another of his hard covers makes it into his hands. He opens it without looking up.

"Kate. You can make it out to Kate."

The world stops. His heart lodges into his throat. He swallows as he slowly lifts his head up.

It's _her_. Really her.

A million things that he wanted to say floods into his mind, but his tongue holds itself. Here is not the time nor place. He carefully schools his features and looks back down at his book, scribbling in a very impersonal note. That is, considering the things that he was very tempted to say to her then.

Rick looks up to hand her the book, but cautiously avoids her eyes.

She gets the picture.

He moves on to the next person.

* * *

Kate waits for him outside. She knows he did not want to say anything to her in front of all those people. She knows it's not a conversation fit for anyone else to hear but them.

So she waits.

She was startled to suddenly find him walking past her.

"Castle, wait."

He keeps walking. A lump forms in her throat but she tries again. Slightly jogging after his long strides.

"Castle. I know you're angry."

He keeps walking.

"You're damn right I'm angry. I waited for you. It's been three months, Beckett."

He stops yet doesn't look at her, and somehow her last name sounded like a slap. She falters for a bit, her mouth opening and closing without sound.

Several people walk past them on the sidewalk.

She blinks. "Look, I said I needed time."

He turns.

She almost wished he didn't. His eyes are stormy, his face weary. The smile he was wearing the whole afternoon has left none of its traces.

Maybe it would not sting so much if there was a little more emotion there other than detachment, but there's nothing but the fine line of his lips and the tense set of his jaw.

"You said a few days."

"I needed more."

"Well then you should have said that."

He shifts, as if to start moving away. She panics.

"Look Castle, I couldn't call you. Okay? Not without dragging myself through everything that I've just been trying to get some space from. I needed some time to work through everything."

He sighs, hands in his pockets, looking down at his shoes, a piece of hair falling on his forehead.

"You don't need to explain anything to me anymore, Beckett. I get it. I'm sure you have also heard from Espo and Ryan regarding the new rules in the precinct. You don't have to worry about anyone feeling awkward. Maybe we all needed the time."

There's something in his words that Kate cannot put a finger on, but he looks down at his watch before she can ask.

"Look, I have to meet Alexis for dinner. Maybe we can talk some other time. Thank you for coming to see me today. I hope you enjoy the book. Goodbye, Kate."

She doesn't even have the time to process his words. Or the fact that he finally called her by her name. Or why it all sounded so final, before he turned around and walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Forgot to post one last chapter. Sorry! Don't own anything though, obviously.**

**A/N: Just wanted to say that this might get AU-ish. I mean that in a sense that it won't actually follow Season 4's timeline. Hope you guys like this chapter. **

* * *

**CHAPTER 02**

"I don't know. It was just weird… you know?"

"Well you did stop talking to him for three months. Or anyone for that matter."

Kate sighs. "Not really helping, Lanie."

Lanie Parish shrugged and raised her eyebrow. She was sitting across Kate from the latter's kitchen island over a glass of wine. She's known Kate long enough to not take her bouts of extreme independence personally. So when she finally received a call, she showed up at her apartment without even a flinch. "I'm just telling the truth, girl. But, you haven't really talked by the looks of it. Maybe he really was just in a hurry."

Kate watches her best friend swirl her wine around in the glass while chewing on her lip thoughtfully. She knows there wasn't anything surprising in the way he reacted, and she acknowledges that she may have just caught him at a bad time, yet she cannot shake off the feeling of uneasiness.

"Hey, if you're so worried about it then you should just call him, you know. You owe him that at least after all this time." Lanie says after a few seconds of watching her worry herself. "Maybe you could also drop in your current relationship status with Josh while doing that."

Kate rolls her eyes. "That's not even relevant right now."

"Oh, that is _so_ relevant for him, girl. Believe me. Did you know that he did nothing but trail every single lead he could get a sniff off the first two months you were gone? If _that_ does not make you relevant, then I don't know what does."

"The guys told me. He was just being helpful, Lanie. And curious. He's being Castle. That doesn't really mean anything."

"Umhmm. Tell me that again once you believe it yourself."

Silence.

"Something happened, Kate. After that shot was released and hit you on your chest, something happened with him. You disappearing without so much a call or a goodbye made it worse. But I'm not judging you, you know I'm on your side. All I'm saying is, that's a lot for someone to take. Especially someone who cares about you that much. He had to cope somehow."

Kate stares off into space, absentmindedly swirling the drink in her hand. "He told me he loved me."

She could practically hear her friend's eyebrows rise up on her forehead, but she avoids looking at her and trudges on. "When I was shot, lying on the grass. He told me."

"And…?" Lanie pushes.

"And I told him I didn't remember, at the hospital. Then I left."

"This is messed up in ways I can't even comprehend."

Kate groans and buries her face in her hands. "Again with the helpfulness."

"What, I'm just saying. No wonder he's mad."

"I couldn't exactly spill my heart out to him on a hospital bed, can I? That would be so horribly cliché. Besides, I was not even in the right state of mind or emotional wellness to even consider delving into that then."

"Well, what about now?"

"I-I'm trying. I told you how I've spent my time away. I'd like to think I made some progress with Dr. Burke. But… not yet. There's still too much. My mom… and now this. And… me. I just - I can't dive into this half-baked, Lanie. It would destroy us. _I_ would destroy us."

Lanie takes her hand then. "He knows enough about you to know not to ask you to dive into anything you're not ready for. And he knows you far better than you give him credit for, sweetie. As much as I don't like to say it, considering how incredibly annoying he is, he's a good guy. Just try to lay it out for him. You might be surprised."

* * *

It was just after dinner; Rick and Alexis were cleaning up the remnants of their meal. His mother was off gallivanting with some friends probably. He could feel Alexis shooting him looks that whole night. He was trying his best to behave as normally as possible in front of her. But after seeing Beckett today, his careful façade may have cracked a bit.

His daughter, finally not able to take his unusual silence anymore, suddenly speaks up.

"You okay, dad? You're a lot quiet tonight."

He looks up, can't help but smile at her concern. Whatever happens, he will always have Alexis. He puts his arm around her and squeezes her to his side affectionately.

"I'm alright, pumpkin. Just a little tired from the signing this afternoon."

"Wow. Really? Is this a transformation I see? Tired from hoards of women asking for your signature? I must say, dad, I'm worried about you growing up too fast." She smirks.

"You're funny. Really, daughter. "

Alexis snorts, eyes sparkling. "Of course, I had to get something out of you, didn't I?"

"You mean, aside from my good looks?" He smiles, but it doesn't quite meet Alexis' expectations.

She hugs him tighter from the side. "Don't think I don't know what this is about, dad. And I've let you be. But I think you've had enough time, now it's time to move forward. Besides, I don't want you all mopey on our trip."

They stack up the last of the dishes before Rick fully turns to look at his now grown up daughter, focusing everything in him to give her the smile she deserves. Her face lights up, with an expression in her face that makes him ache for the young child she used to be. One who was naturally curious, but untouched by the unkindness of the world.

He could try, for her he could try anything. Even glue back together his devastated heart.

"Well, you should know by now, pumpkin, that I could never be truly sad whenever I'm with you."

She beams. And it makes it all worth it, even if his face was starting to hurt a little bit. She gives him a hug and a kiss goodnight, seemingly satisfied for now, before heading to her room.

His shoulder slumps the moment her door closes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Not mine at all. **

**CHAPTER 03:**

She knows she's avoiding. Again.

But she tried calling him once about a case, even sent him a message when he didn't answer. She knows they could get Gates to take him back, now that she was back as well. If not, there's always the Mayor.

He didn't call back, just sent a message about how he's apparently busy with something else.

_When has he ever been too busy for a mystery? A murder? …. Her?_

She realizes that she might be over-thinking this. And yes, she should stop expecting him to _always_ be there whenever she calls.

He does have a life.

She drops her pen in frustration. The closed case not so much a mystery anymore, just huge amounts of paperwork and no Castle to keep it interesting.

She thinks back to the few times she's seen Alexis down at the morgue. Nothing seems to have changed with her. She never asks any questions. And Kate wasn't that desperate to ask her what her dad has been up to lately to make him so busy, so unreachable.

_Well, not that desperate yet, at least._

"You okay there, boss?"

She startles out of her own mental tirade, not even realizing that she has been staring at his chair the whole time.

It was Espo who spoke, but even Ryan was looking at her with concern.

"Y-yeah, yeah. Just… thinking about the case."

They don't say anything for a second, but she sees their eyes flicker on the seat beside her table.

Esposito walks to her desk to avoid being heard by the whole precinct.

"You talk to him yet?" He whispers.

She hesitates; she was never one to talk freely about personal matters.

"He was quite torn up when he left. We spoke to him a few times after but nothing really big. During the first two months he often asked if you called then… after… " He trails off.

Kate looks down at her hands. "He was angry. I tried talking to him when I got back, but he had somewhere else to be."

"Try again. I know you'd be furious if it happened differently. More than that, you'd be hurt."

She raises her eyebrows as if offended by that statement.

But Espo continues. "You know it, even if you won't admit it. And you know he wouldn't stop pestering you anyway."

That makes her smile a bit, knowing it was the truth.

He shrugs before walking back to his desk.

* * *

That afternoon Kate walked down the morgue to see Lanie. Unexpectedly, she heard Alexis speaking.

"Are you sure this is okay, Dr. Parish? I mean, I could really stay if you need me. My dad could probably take Grams or someone else."

"Oh, I don't think your father would forgive me for subjecting him to that. It'll be fine. You should have a little fun. Lord knows your father has too much of it. Besides, he might get into too much trouble without you."

Kate suddenly felt strange standing there listening to their conversation. She decidedly walks in through the doors. They were sitting across each other eating lunch on the morgue table.

Both look up upon her entrance.

"Detective Beckett! " Lanie says.

"Hey Lanie." She greets, to indicate that it's a social call. Unusually.

"Wanna join us for lunch?" The doctor says, offering half of her sandwich.

"Um… No thanks."

Alexis smiled politely at her but started poking at her food.

"Uh… I take it you're not here for a case?"

"No. Not really. No bodies yet, we just closed one this morning."

Awkward silence.

"Maybe I should just come back…" Kate starts before Alexis suddenly stands up from her stool, hands simultaneously fixing the remains of her lunch.

"No, actually I was just leaving. I, um… still have some things to finish at home. So…" her eyes flicker on Lanie. "Thanks Dr. Parish. I'll see you when I get back?"

Lanie nods. "Be sure to have fun. Keep your dad in check."

The red head smiles widely. "Of course." She gathers her things and throws out the food containers. She turns around by the door. "I'll see you around too, Detective Beckett."

Kate blinks at Lanie after the teenager left.

"What was that about?"

Lanie is suddenly very interested with her sandwich.

"Lanie…"

"She and Castle are going on a trip."

"A trip."

"Yes, to the Hampton's, for a week."

Her eyes simply flicker, not giving anything away. "Just the two of them?"

"I think so, she was just here asking for permission to take the time off. Says they both need it, especially Castle, with… everything that has happened recently, she thinks her dad needs the vacation."

"Oh."

"She says the release of a new book stressed him out a lot."

Kate gives her a look.

"It was worth a try." Lanie shrugs. "You call him yet?"

Again, the sandwich suddenly seems so very interesting. To Kate, this time.

"Kate."

"Not yet."

"May I ask what you are waiting for?"

Beckett toys with the hem of her shirt. "I tried. About a case. Didn't exactly go well."

"Well, either you do something about that now or wait another week while he's off wandering about sandy beaches and girls in bikinis."

More fidgeting.

"They're leaving in two days."

"Fine. Later. I'll call him. Whatever."

* * *

Finally the day is about to end. It has thankfully been quiet, with not even a single body dropping the rest of the afternoon.

Kate fiddles with her phone. She has been staring at the message for a few minutes, gathering courage to send it.

_We need to talk. Now. _

It was direct. So straight to the point. So… her.

Finally, she presses the damn blue button.

She starts fixing her things to distract herself from merely waiting for his reply.

It beeps just as she closes her bag.

_Alexis is here with a friend. I'll meet you at the coffee shop._

No innuendos. No jokes about missing him. Direct. So… not him.

_Alright. _She replies. She doesn't have to ask which one it is.

* * *

Castle sits at a small table by the window with two coffees already placed in front of him.

He's playing with his phone, feeling comforted by the steady background noise of his favorite coffee shop. He wanted a place that would allow them to talk clearly, but not too intimately. That's why he avoided their own places. He wanted them to talk like adults, and avoid anything like the argument they had in her apartment.

A small chime goes off as another customer walks in. He doesn't look up, but he knows it's her.

He shifts a bit in his seat, feeling suddenly uncomfortable already. He doesn't know what she wants to talk to him about, exactly, but decided it's about time he stops acting like a sulking child, no matter how he feels.

"Hey." She sounds breathless.

Rick look up and finds her biting her lip while tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

A nervous tell.

He straightens up in his seat, motioning to the chair opposite him. "Hey."

She sits. "This mine?" Tentatively reaching for the cup closer to her. As if she isn't sure that he still bought her coffee. He nods, puts down his phone as a signal that she can start talking.

She takes a long sip, keeps the cup between her hands, and looks down at it before gazing up to him, straight in his eyes.

"Look Castle. I know – I know I made things difficult. I know you're angry, I don't blame you for that. But… I don't know what else to say except I'm sorry. I just needed the time."

Her eyes are hazy, clouded over with something. He didn't know if she was relieving her summer, her shooting, or if it's just because of this, what's happening between them right now. But Castle doubts that has anything to do with it.

She told him he did not remember what he said, and he realizes that's just as well. He should just focus on becoming better, at not caring so much about her, because she has made it perfectly clear that it's what she wants.

The summer.

He thinks he made it so difficult for himself because he wanted to believe that there was something between them. Yet the longer she was gone, the more he realized that if there was indeed something there, she would not keep him away like this. She would care enough to at least give him a call, an assurance that she was okay. She was shot for Christ's sake.

He notices that his elongated silence is unnerving her.

"I'm not angry anymore, Beckett. If that's what you're worried about, I'm not. I was…" he trails off, starts again. "I just needed time for myself as well."

She sits there chewing her lip, seemingly not knowing what to say.

"I just…" she starts. "There are some things I need to get through on my own, Castle. That was one of those things. I felt crushed by the burden of it all, I had to get away. From everyone… everything."

"How did Josh take that?" It was out of his mouth before he could reel it in.

_Damn it._

Her eyes flash uncomfortably.

"We broke up."

_Oh._

"A relationship won't fix me. I know that now. It has to be another way around, and, I couldn't subject him to that anymore, or anyone. Do you understand me?" she continued, looking at him, thumb distractedly flicking her coffee cup.

"Okay." He doesn't say any more. He was busy schooling his features, determined not to give anything away.

They're both quiet for a few moments, taken with their own thoughts.

She speaks up first. "I heard you're going to the Hampton's."

He seemed surprised that she knows.

"Alexis told Lanie."

"Oh. Yeah. Like I said, I need the time to myself."

"So…" she's biting her lip again. "You're not planning to come back any time soon?"

It's his turn to fiddle with his cup.

"How about I give you a call when I get back? See how I'm feeling then."

She nods slowly. "Okay."

* * *

Sixteen days go by without a word.

Not that she's counting.

This reminds her of another time that he decided to take a break from the precinct to go to the Hampton's to "finish his writing".

She gets by the same way she did then.

Pretending as if it doesn't bother her that he's not here, that he wasn't calling.

Except this morning her act slipped a little.

She was called to a crime scene at seven in the morning, only to find Alexis there already.

According to Lanie, Alexis has been back at work for more than a week already, though this was the first time she's seen her.

_So does this mean Castle wasn't coming back?_

"Yo, boss." Kate startled out of her thoughts. "Castle just called."

_Speak of the devil. _

_WAIT._

_He was calling Espo now?_

She didn't know if she should feel insulted. She kept her expression flat nonetheless.

"Says he extended his trip. But he'll be back next week. He says he misses the gore."

"Okay." She says before pretending to get on with her paperwork.

"That's it?"

She shoots him a deadpanned look.

He raises his hands as he walks away.

_At least he's coming back, maybe everything will be okay then._

* * *

It's been a peaceful trip.

At least, as peaceful as his mind would allow him.

But it has been worth it. He feels better, more grounded.

He watched the waves gently crash against the shore. Savoring the wind as it glides over his hair.

He's going back tomorrow. Back to New York, and also the precinct.

The first few nights he contemplated never going back. He doesn't think he could handle seeing her every day without cracking. Because even after the talk with Kate, it still feels difficult to him. He can't resist the emotional pull.

But talking about it to someone uninvolved has helped, he knows his love for the precinct goes beyond his personal relationship with Beckett. It has given him purpose, and he thrives in it, helping people, solving murders.

It won't be easy, but it's taking a step to healing.

So he's going back, facing her, and accepting that being partners is better than nothing.

"You okay there?" A soft voice says behind him, before the person sits down a few spaces away.

He looks at her, mahogany hair tied up in a careless bun.

"Yup, just fine. Actually can't wait to go back to the city."


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: Not mine at all.**

**Chapter 04:**

Bianca St. Claire is from one of the older and more prominent families in Connecticut. She spent her time growing up between a mansion in New Canaan, a penthouse in Manhattan, and a vacation home at the Hampton's.

In spite of all the affluences and privileges, Bianca remained to keep a good head on her shoulders. A trait, that according to her, was made sure to be instilled in her by her maternal grandparents who came from a modest life before reaching success.

Rick first met her one summer in the Hampton's when Alexis was five. She was merely fresh out of college then, spending the summer helping out in a bakery her family owned in the Hampton's. She was taken with the young Alexis and started chatting with her, and that was where Rick found his daughter, sitting inside the counter beside the young woman as he was paying for their items.

He became fast friends with Bianca, who was in a relationship then, which, he now thinks, was the reason why nothing really ever happened with them.

He's quite thankful for that as it allowed them to remain friends, even if they go years without seeing each other.

It was quite a big surprise to see her roaming around on the beach during his second day of vacation with Alexis. But the three of them had ended up spending almost everyday together since there weren't much people around at this time.

She's witty, confident, with a simple, carefree air about her. She's also quite easy to get along and get comfortable with.

Before the week was done, they both had spilled out their reasons for hiding out here at such a time. She had just gotten out of a long serious relationship, and him… well… he spared her all the gory details, but shared the gist of it. So they were both on the same page.

Alexis was due back in New York in two days, Bianca said she planned to spend a week more before going back.

She had decided to permanently reside in their New York penthouse when she made partner at one of the city's leading Ad agencies.

Rick took the silent invitation, which was how Alexis wound up going back by herself. He knew she didn't take it to mean anything more than he intended.

He just wasn't ready to go back and have to face calling Beckett with a decision he had yet to make. He was also quite frankly enjoying his time here, to regroup, regardless of Bianca or not.

But today was their last day. No more backing out.

He was feeling better, but on the edge about going back as well. He was out by the beach, organizing his thoughts when Bianca found him and decidedly sat beside him after asking if he was okay.

He looked at her then, noting her very laid back appearance. He was almost one hundred percent sure that this was not how she looked in Manhattan. Her dark her sat in a loose bun, wearing a navy and white striped shirt, white shorts and slippers.

It would be very hard to deny that she was beautiful.

But, his heart, unfortunately, was still deeply taken by another brunette.

Shaking his head at the digression of his thoughts, he told her he was excited to go back.

He wasn't lying. Even he can only stand so much time doing nothing.

But then, he also can't deny his nerves.

Bianca smiled a little.

"I'm sure you'll be fine, Rick. You're making the right decision. I just know it."

"I know, I know I am. I just wish the right decision wasn't so hard."

She laughs at him now.

"Aaah. I wonder how many people have already said that."

He keeps quiet.

"Hey, you could just stop trying to reel your feelings in, you know. Make it easier for the both of you."

He smirks.

"What sage advice you have. Makes me wonder why I stayed an extra week here if I was just going to go back and profess my everlasting love before I start following her around again like a lost puppy who never gets a treat."

"You're not a puppy, Rick. Just a good guy, albeit a very emotionally battered one right now, but still good nonetheless. You'll figure things out, even if it ends up with or without her."

"Hmm. Should I repeat that that line for your benefit as well?"

"Oh, shut up. I for one know that fact already. We just weren't right for each other anymore."

He glances at her. "Doesn't mean you can't get sad about it."

"I know that too." She bows her head a little, but lifts it up to give him a small reassuring smile and a squeeze in his forearm. "We'll be okay."

"Just don't leave me hanging high and dry once we get back to the city." He volleys, trying to make their conversation light again. They've both had enough drama for the past few days.

"I won't. I'll make sure to be there for every bar fight or any other stupidity you might get into while you get over this heartache. Lord knows Alexis has already handled too much for her lifetime."

"Hey, I resent that! Just wait until I get to carry your drunk ass back to your penthouse too."

She laughs. "Counting on it."

* * *

_Oh, he's back._

Without coffee.

It was late in the afternoon though, and he was fresh from the Hampton's.

Her throat constricted when she first saw him step out of the elevator. Good thing she was by the filing area so she had a few minutes to recuperate and tame her nervousness as he went straight to Ryan and Esposito.

Because, she liked to think, she wasn't on her desk.

She actually did not know how to behave around him right now.

He said he'd call her but he didn't. Then he calls Javi instead.

It's all a mess inside her head.

_But… he's back… he's back._

That should count for something.

She gets her bearings back and decides that nonchalance is still the way to go as she walks to her desk.

He turns the moment she gets to her chair. He waves to guys as he walks towards her.

She pretends she doesn't feel the bullpen trying to discreetly stare at the two of them.

"Hey, Castle." She breathes.

"Hey." He says.

He looks better. Not as tired, a lot less dark circles under his eyes, more tanned and still chiseled.

_Okay. Stopping now._

"So…" he starts. "I'm back."

She smirks. "You _have_ met the new captain, right?"

As if right on cue, the captain's door opens. "Beckett, Mr. Castle, my office. Now." The door slams shut.

Ryan and Espo's eyes dart between them and the door.

Castle glances at her.

"Did you do something already?" She puts one of her hands on her hip.

"I may have… called in a favor to the Mayor."

Kate sighs. Of course.

"Well, let's get this over with." She says before stalking towards Gates' office.

They find her standing behind her desk with her arms crossed.

"I suppose you think you're very clever, Mr. Castle."

"Um." He starts but gets cut off.

"I just want to let you know I don't tolerate any sort of misconduct in my precinct. Make one wrong step and I do not give a damn how well the Mayor thinks of you. I just need a single legitimate reason and you'll be out of here faster than your fingers can dial his number."

Beckett cuts in. "I think we've managed fine before, Sir. You don't need to worry about it."

"Oh but I don't think you have, Detective Beckett. I'm not sure about everything that went down here before, but I am sure it won't make me very happy. I'm just reminding you that you're both a single step away from losing what you call a partnership if you directly breach any of my orders. Understood?"

Realizing that Gates didn't call them to talk _to_ them but talk _at_ them, Kate merely nods and pulls Castle's sleeve before he gets the chance to say anything else.

"That went well." He mutters when they get out.

Kate arches an eyebrow at him. "Think you can handle the ego-bruising?"

"Oh, I can more than handle it, Detective Beckett."

She doesn't reply but keeps looking at him, making a mental assessment of his appearance.

Like she first noticed, he definitely looks better than when they last spoke to each other. But there's still something missing from him.

The spark. The natural childlike giddiness.

Maybe this is what Lanie was talking about.

She was broken herself. She acknowledges that now. There are days when she could barely get herself to stand upright from the burden of everything.

Every day is a fight, one she is determined not to lose. She has made sure of that by talking to Dr. Burke. She has come this far after all, and she wants to be a better person. Better than someone who lives under the banner of tragedy.

She knows she isn't in any position to point out anyone else's problems.

But, for all the things that confuse her right now, for everything that was lain on her plate, regardless of whether she was ready to face it or not, she hopes with everything inside her that they would both personally be good again.

That maybe, they would be restored.

Kate wants to be ready for what they could jump into.

A _them_ without all the pressure of the water over their heads, threatening to drown them, but all of it put to rest way below a bridge under their feet.

He seems to be assessing her too.

Their eyes lock.

They both look away immediately.

He clears his throat.

"Uhm. I should get going."

Both of her eyebrows rise involuntarily. An unspoken, unbidden question.

"I want to make dinner for Alexis and my mother. I actually came here straight from my drive. To make sure we're good."

She nods. She didn't know if he meant them or him coming back to work. She doesn't ask. It counts that he's here now.

He looks at her for a beat before turning to wave goodbye to the boys.

"What, you're leaving already?" Ryan asks. "We haven't seen you for weeks!"

"Aww. That's sweet Kev." Castle retorts.

Ryan rolls his eyes.

"Seriously, bro. We gotta have some pizza or something." Espo interjects.

"Tomorrow, definitely. Gotta go home and make sure my kid and my mother haven't forgotten about me yet."

"Fine." Both guys nod understandably.

"See you guys." He glances back at Kate, already moving towards the elevator. "See you, Detective."

"Tomorrow?" She can't help but ask.

He turns his head then, and gives a little nod. "Tomorrow."

_Not all is lost._

* * *

_What did you guys think of Bianca? :)_


End file.
